1.02 A Purple Heart for Gruber

Trouble follows when Gruber, who's competing with a hometown neighbor for Greatest War Hero, is awarded a Purple Heart for a small cut on his finger, which he got while doing laundry.

McHale's Island

 * Ernest Borgnine: Quinton McHale
 * Tim Conway: Charles Parker
 * Carl Ballantine: Lester Gruber
 * Gary Vinson: George "Christy" Christopher
 * Billy Sands: Harrison "Tinker" Bell
 * Edson Stroll: Virgil Edwards
 * Gavin MacLeod: Joseph "Happy" Haines
 * John Wright: Willy Moss
 * Yoshio Yoda: Fuji Kobiaji

Main Base

 * Joe Flynn: Wallace Binghamton
 * Bob Hastings: Elroy Carpenter

Other

 * Dale Ishimoto: Japanese Commander

Mentioned

 * Mrs. Gronski
 * Benny Gronski
 * Mrs. Gruber

Goofs

 * Gruber actually would not have been entitled to a Purple Heart - the criteria require that the wound be one requiring treatment by a medical officer, and that official records of such treatment must exist.

Quotes
"Well, uh, gee now, I don't think there's anything to skipper about worry. Uh, worry about skipper. Uh, well, maybe there is."

- Parker

"There we were. That is what I want to know. Where were you? Well, we were at sea. What was your position? Well, uh... Something like this, sir."

- Parker and Binghamton

"You big sissy."

- Binghamton to Parker

"By the great horn spoon! Who, sir? Horn spoon."

- Binghamton and Parker

"Is that all you two can say 'well-uh well-uh well-uh'?! No-uh"

- Binghamton, Parker and McHale